


vine oneshots (AOT/Reader || AOT/OC)

by cinarminroll (koriyan)



Series: Textfics [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, M/M, Textfic, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 01:19:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6544624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koriyan/pseuds/cinarminroll





	1. i eat my rice and cabbage (Salem x Levi)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Fuckboy Antics](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4065244) by [Genesis_Maiden](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genesis_Maiden/pseuds/Genesis_Maiden). 



Salem's **POV**

I had just finished rewatching my motivational video. ([Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CM1tU2UuQuE)) I already knew what I had to do. Take one for the team, that is. I replayed the video.

 **_It's true that I'm a bad bitch,_ ** _bad bitch._

_**Bitch, I eat my rice and cabbage,** cabbage.  
_

_**Ass so fat, he wanna grab it,** grab it!_

_**If he gotta couple hundreds, he could have it,** have it!_

_**Y’all already know I’m the baddest bitch,** baddest bitch! _

**_I suck that dick, and then I ride that shit!_ **

Then his friends cheer in the background.

_**Best believe he gonna pay for it,** pay for it!_

_**Get on his knees, then he pray for it,** pray for it!_

_**Fuck him in his mama’s bed,** mama’s bed!_

**_Yeah, that nigga got the best head!_ **

**_Legs up on the headboard,_ ** _headboard!_

**_Then he choke me with the cable_ ** _**cord**!_

One again, his friends cheer in the background.

Once it's over, I realize that I hadn't responded to any messages.

**Levi**

_12:03 pm_

Brat, where are you?

_12:04 pm_

Sorry Levi, I forgot that we were supposed to meet up. Give me a few.

**Levi**

_12:05 pm_

You'd better fucking be there. I don't like waiting, damn it.

_12:06 pm_

Yeah, yeah yeah, save it, shorty.

**Levi**

_12:07 pm_

I'll make sure you pay for that.

_12:09 pm_

Mhm, whatever. See you there.

 

 

I slipped my phone in my pocket, on my way to meet Levi at the cafe.

▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲

At the cafe, I saw Levi sitting at a table in the corner. As I sat down, his gunmetal eyes bored into me.

"Hey, shorty."

"Don't fucking call me that. You're shorter than me, anyways."

"You're shorter than Kevin Hart. And he's pretty short."

"Only by an inch. You might as well say we're the same height."

"Yeah, whatever."

"Tch."

After a few minutes of going back and forth, I go and order vanilla tea for me, and black tea for Levi. When I come back, I realize he was staring at me the whole time. I knew I had felt someone's eyes on me.

"Enjoyed the view, Shortstack?"

That's when Levi also realized that he had his eyes on my the whole time. Snapping out of it, she looked up at me. "Tch. What'd you do to for it to be so big?"

Smiling, I replied. "I eat my rice and cabbage."


	2. a pimp named jean-neigh (Fem!Reader x Jean)

**Jean's POV**

Being a ladies man, or as many say, a pimp, I can safely say that I have  _a lot_ of girls all over me. Every hour, I called one of my girls and asked where they were. "Getting your money," they would always respond.

"Just as you should be."

There was just one of these girls that I couldn't get to like me. A girl with beautiful, silky (h/c) hair and bright (e/c) eyes. Her (s/c) skin was so soft.

Her name was (f/n).

Okay, maybe I over-exaggerated a bit. She likes me, but she won't admit it.

We'll see about this... she'll admit it somehow. Even if I have to force it out of her.

That Yeager kid, oh I  _know_ he'll help out. Kid loves helping... sometimes.

Oh, it'll be fine. A smooth plan, made up by Armin.

_Sometimes, I wonder how he does it._

I talk to her, everyday, but her friends don't know if she likes me. Not even Hanji.

_Smh..._

She's a dancer. Always playing one song the most.  _A Pimp Named Slickback_ by Lakim, that is. She does a dance to it. (f/n) calls it the  _footwork_ , but there's also another dance that she does with it. The  _Sexy Walk_ , I think it is. Well, I should know. I'm always around her. Her  _boy bestfriend_ , if you will. I've learned a few - a lot - of moves from her, and now I'm willing to show her.

As much as I hate being called a horse, Armin made me a remix to that song.  _A Pimp Named Jean - neigh._

It literally goes like that.

**_Johnny, that's what I said._ **

**_No, no, Jean - neigh._ **

**_Johnny, that's what I said._ **

**_No, nigga, I'm A Pimp Named Jean - neigh._ **

On the  _neigh_ part, it's literally a horse neighing.

How did Armin do that?

I have no idea, but he _is_ a computer whiz.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's time to show her. I pull out my phone and speaker, playing the song for her, and doing the dance.

It looks terrible - which it is - but she looks like she's enjoying it.

Once it goes by once, she decides to join me.

_This has to be my chance! Thank you, Armin!_

After it's over, I ask her what she thought. She giggles; it's music to my ears. My horse ears... (See what I did there lmao?)

"It was great, Jean." She hugs me, and I (of course) hug back.

"Thanks...  _Princess_."

I can feel her muscles tense against mine, and it ends up as a hug attack. Not long later, it's a kiss attack. And soon enough, it's a makeout session.

_Oops. Sorry, not sorry._

_It's your loss, Hanji._

 


End file.
